InFMous
On 1st April 2009 it was announced that club legend Alan Shearer would take over as interim boss of Newcastle United until the end of the season. The club had been an amusing distraction to neutrals for a number of years before Mike Ashley took over ownership of the club in 2007. After his directorial appointments undermined one club legend in Kevin Keegan, he turned to laughing stock Joe Kinnear to try and steer the Mags in the right direction. Following medical issues (and a few games under future boss Chris Hughton), Alan Shearer was appointed as interim boss on 1st April 2009 until the end of the season. Shearer pointed to his passion for the club as the reason for him taking charge and trying to save his boyhood club from relegation, which is the same challenge we face today.
As a Newcastle fan, it’s hard to look back on this time to try and figure out why things didn’t click on the pitch, simply because it was absolutely wretched and I have attempted to block it from my memory. Following a failure to qualify for the Champions League in the 2003/04 season, Sir Bobby Robson was sacked early in the following campaign after a 4-1 defeat to Aston Villa. Managers came and went, and the club somehow managed to stay in Europe for a few seasons whilst rocking it with the likes of Peter Ramage and Antoine Sibierski. Madness. The mass turnover of players, and an inability to stick with a manager/philosophy finally caught up with the Toon in the 2008/09 season when relegation was confirmed following a spineless 1-0 defeat to Aston Villa (they love being there for dramatic moments). Serial payslip snatcher Michael Owen did his best not to get injured prior to his contract expiring, and other ‘big hitters’ like Obafemi Martins, Damien Duff, Mark Viduka all failed to perform consistently, which led Newcastle to the Championship. I recall Shearer placing all of his faith in Owen leading the side to safety, however zero goals in 7 appearances shows how committed he was, although the side only scored four during the final 8 games of the 08/09 season.
On a personal level, I feel like relegation was completely deserved, and no team is ever “too good to go down”, as many have thrown at the likes of Newcastle and West Ham. I don’t blame Shearer for trying to save the club he loves, but he surely would have got another shot at a later date had he not stepped in during this tumultuous time:
As you’ll see from the above, we take over the club with 30 games played, and find ourselves in the relegation zone. I only had to re-load the save twice to get us into a similar position, although bizarrely the first time around Newcastle were 7th. We are three points from safety rather than two, but I’m fairly pleased with the ‘simulation’ overall. Where this differs from reality (aside from the 12 season gap, players, and my hairline) is that we play more games against other relegation candidates, and thus I’d say our run in is slightly easier than Shearer’s.
The goal of this 8-game save is to complete what big Al’ couldn’t and save Newcastle from relegation. Quite frankly I don’t care how I do it, but that’s the intention. Shearer’s results speak for themselves, and at the very least I expect to beat his measly win ratio:
Let’s go.
State of play
Upon looking at the squad I notice that Matt Richie has been loaned out, which is a bit of a disaster as I felt his sheer aggression would be enough to keep us up. Calum Wilson has scored 9 goals in 22 games in the league, and the mercurial Allan Saint-Maximin has missed nearly 3 months through injuries. You can see where the problems lie within the squad at the minute, and a lack of real quality at the back, partnered with a stifling of ability up top has really put us in a spot of bother. I feel like I need to make the most of a fluid attacking midfield trio in order to stop the rot, with Joe Willock, Miggy Almirón, and ASM the key to supplying the walking doctor’s note, Wilson, with decent ammunition. The rest of the tactic will have to be fairly pragmatic, so to that effect, here’s what I’ve come up with:
Willock didn’t last long…
I think this 4-2-3-1 is relatively well balanced, albeit we’ll theoretically end up quite narrow when attacking due to two Inverted Wingers. Jonjo will hopefully spread the play wide whilst Longstaff(s) will be the legs. In defence I’ve gone for a standard set up to try to remain in solid defensive unit. I’ve tried to leave instructions fairly bland so I can adjust over the first few games, but in theory I just want play to go through the middle of the pitch before springing any of the front 4, and I don’t intend to hang around to do it. If we end up too narrow then we have the option of Ryan Fraser to come in whom will be back from injury shortly. We have plenty of pace and flair, so I’m letting them make the most of it. Defensively…well, I’ve never been a defensive-minded manager on Football Manager, so this is my attempt at some balanced attacking intent. If it all goes pear shaped then I’ll drop the AMC into a DMC role, and we’ll go from there. Recent results have been awful, so I’m hoping a change in shape/manager means that the only way is up:
I’ll admit there are some tough games in there, however when you’re battling for points you really need to beat, well, anyone really, and that’s precisely what I’ll be trying to do now.
SOS
Upon receiving an achievement for delegating literally everything to my staff (and then taking back the touchline instructions and team talks), I looked ahead to the game away at Leicester City. They’re comfortably 8th, and a number of points off the European spots, so they’re not exactly an impossible challenge on this save, even away from home. Before this, though, I managed to see off my first enemy – Mike Ashley. A takeover of the club was completed days before our first match, and the new chairman insisted that the board had been “impressed” by my tenure so far. Thanks, chief.
I’ve sat through a lot of football, and Football Manager, in my time, and I’ve never seen such a boring display. Leicester had their chances, but they were mainly pot-shots, and any time they had a go in our penalty box it was inevitably blocked. Overall, it’s a good point to gain against a top-half side, and we try and take the positives into the next game (we didn’t concede?).
Next up is my geographically closest Premier League side – West Ham United. Again, we are away from home, but this version of West Ham differs vastly from the one in reality. This Hammers side, at the start of play, are in 18th, and level on points with us after they drew 0-0 with 17th placed Sheffield United. If there are any must-win games in this mini-save, this is surely one of them. I’ve decided to keep with the same tactic and XI that got us a point away at Leicester, as I feel like trying to go and more direct towards the end of the game may work when countering against a side desperate to take the points in front of a frustrated crowd. Cross your fingers.
What a win. Aside from Michail Antonio’s two attempts at the start of each half, we stifled the Irons completely, and had a fair number of half chances ourselves. The goal from Sean Longstaff was a little scrappy, but we made that from some good play over the right hand side of the pitch. Our second came at the perfect time for us to seal the points, and it was a bit of a ripper from Peruvian AMC Rodrigo Vilca (replacing the injured Willock). Two games, two clean sheets, four points, and we’re only a couple of draws off beating Shearer’s managerial record already, although a win would be handy as we’re up against…Sheffield United.
Sean’s goal is the first for the Toon in my tenure
The Blades start the day in the relegation zone on goal difference, but only because of our second goal in the previous match. We’re finally in front of the Geordie faithful, and hopefully our recent good results and momentum can be carried through. Vilca starts ahead of Willock in this one due to his injury, and will even when the latter returns at this rate, but the remainder of the side remains intact.
STOP THE COUNT!
When Joelinton is coming off the bench and bagging a brace you know that you’ve done something very right, or that your opponents have done something very wrong. Another clean sheet, and six goals spread amongst the front four (Joelinton x 2, Wilson, Almiron, ASM, Vilca) are justifying my tactic thus far. We looked dangerous every time we had the ball, and there’s not much more to say than that. Normally when these results happen, people jump for the “it could have been 10!” chat, but this one really couldn’t. It should have been about six, and it was, and that pleases me more than wasting a load of chances.
The Wolves of Wolf Street were up next, and I got a few pre-game jitters. We were first up for the Matchday as we were playing on Friday night, and, as things stood, we were 3 points outside of the relegation zone, with West Brom also acting as a buffer. Despite our excellent results thus far, a loss here, coupled with decent results from the sides beneath us, will drop us right back in it and with lost momentum.
For once we were up against it from the start as a Willian José strike from an early corner ensures that the Newcastle defence was breached for the first time in over 3 games, but a Jonjo Shelvey free kick brought us level soon after. Calum Wilson poked home from a low Miggy Almirón cross in the 58th minute, before Christian Pavón equalised for the home side late on. Dogs of draw, more like (one point each against Leicester and Wolves…I’ll show myself out). I think my mistake came during my triple change, where I inadvertently let Jeff Hendrick onto the pitch.
With four games down, and four to go, we’ve already surpassed Shearer’s record in terms of points return and win ratio, but it’s good to take stock of what’s still required to keep Newcastle in the Premier League:
Sheffield United recovered from their hammering against us to wobble West Brom, and Fulham have picked up four points from their last two games. These results keep us within touching distance of 18th, which is unfortunate, but it also shows how dire of a state we were in prior to my arrival. My final four games are Manchester United (H), West Brom (A), Arsenal (A), and Fulham (H), so I’d still say our goal is well within my grasp, but I’m anticipating on losing at least two of these games.
Against my better judgement, I changed absolutely nothing about our side prior to the visit of Manchester United. It’s looked decent so far, so figured that the worst that could happen is we get tonked 4-0. After seeing Sheffield United and West Ham both win games before we kicked off, the pressure was on to pull away from 17th place.
Defensive chaos - I live for it
This has all the hallmarks of a match against Manchester United. Undeserved penalty for them? Check. Anthony Martial looking unreal in the match engine despite being absolute tat in reality? Check. Defensive abominations allowing us to come from behind to win? Check. Sensationally, Fernandes’ penalty was saved by Dubravka, and Martial’s early goal was cancelled out by yet another Almirón assist from a cut back on the right, and some penalty box ping pong late in the game which Calum Wilson took full advantage of to bang home. All of a sudden we’re four points clear with three to go, and with two against relegation rivals we are surely favourites to survive.
In a truly turgid affair, I thought we’d snatched three points off Sam Allardyce’s West Brom when ASM cut in from the left and fired home into the corner on 68 minutes, only for the sublimely average Karlan Grant to slot home after a long ball effectively removed our defence from the game. A point isn’t the worst, and we’re still unbeaten in six, but the Baggies were there for the taking. I have noticed that our players are starting to get quite tired, especially right back revelation Emile Krafth, but after the majority of the squad has started six games in the last 30 days I can’t say I’m particularly surprised that there are some early signs of fatigue. I’ll push on with the same XI for Arsenal (Willock misses out due to his loan arrangement, but he’s already been usurped by Vilca anyway) as we have a 7 day break afterwards.
The task facing us prior to the Gunners game is simple – we are four points ahead of both West Brom and Fulham with two games to go, thus a win guarantees our safety. Annoyingly, we start the game in 17th due to Sheffield United’s continuing renaissance, but I don’t really mind. If we fail to beat Arsenal, the prior clubs will still need their own positive results to be within striking distance with one game to go.
It was going to happen at some point, and, realistically, taking four points from Manchester United, West Brom, and Arsenal is probably as good as it was going to get. We had a few chances here, but this was the result of our attacking midfield trio all failing to get going. Wilson hasn’t taken games by the scruff of the neck quite as much as I’d hoped, but he usually drags defenders and allows our mercurial talents to flourish. Pépé scored in the first half, and Will.I.An finished us off a few minutes from time. I wanted to scream and shout, and let it all out. Easy pickings, and it could have been worse. Our rivals’ matches were the following day, so I held my breath, crossed my fingers, and prayed to the ghost of Steven Taylor that we’d be celebrating early survival.
Fulham lost, and thus drop into the Championship (again), however West Brom pulled off a victory against local rivals Wolves in order to take the battle to survive into the final day. A win guarantees our safety, although even a draw or defeat may still be fine as West Brom are playing away at Manchester United. We could even finish as high as 15th if results go our way, which would be a little mad. We’re already one up on Shearer’s Newcastle in this instance, as we start the day 1 point outside the relegation zone rather than 1 point inside. Anything other than a defeat against Villa would have saved us that fateful day, and I am intending for history not to repeat itself. My standard line-up will continue, though I do have Andy Carroll on the bench if things go drastically wrong (right?)…
In the end this was indeed null and void as West Brom fell to a 3-1 defeat, however we absolutely smashed the Cottagers to ensure Premier League survival. Wilson made my previous sentiments look idiotic with two early goals, as did Krafth who then dutifully assaulted Lookman and received his marching orders. We sensationally went 4-0 up before a late Harrison Reed goal robbed us of our clean sheet, before Wilson saved a little beauty for last…
I went full Tom Hanks when I saw this finish
Conclusions
Well, frankly, we were fucking awesome in almost every single game. We played exactly how I wanted us to, which is rare for me to get right at the first time of asking. Including his 4 goals against Fulham, Wilson scored 7 in 8 to see us over the line (something Owen never even looked like doing back in ’09), and Saint-Maximin and Almirón were extremely threatening from wide positions. I’ll die by this sword - Heco Dubravka was solid and didn’t make any mistakes (and he is lovely IRL). As expected, our midfield and fullbacks didn’t rate too highly, however they passed the eye test so I’m happy with the roles they fulfilled. I’m also surprised at how competitive the bottom end of the table was when you consider our record of 15 points from 24 available, yet we were still in the firing line on the final day of the campaign. West Brom were the team that plummeted, as is so often the case (apparently?).
Our overall record versus Alan Shearer reads as follows:
My success in having an actual plan aside from ‘pass it to Owen and hope for the best’ has won the day. My ‘pass it to ASM and hope for the best’ plan was far better.
This one isn’t up for debate – am I as infamous as Alan Shearer? No fucking way