Hello, welcome back to France. Last season went swimmingly, and we’ll be playing European football already. That comes with challenges for the squad, especially with the 2022 World Cup looming large. We’ve had two seasons of mostly weekend matches, now comes the fixture congestion…

Today, we’ll run through to the end of the calendar year, including setting up a Champions League tactic, glancing at corners, and welcoming a new youngster to the first team scene. But first, time for Ted…

Ted Redwood:

I am ‘Amazing Ted’, but you can just call me Ted, because ‘amazing’ I already know. I feel like I can justify this somewhat thanks to my decent transfer record for FEO’s Toulouse side, which managed to finish second after an excellent Ligue Un campaign. As always, there’s additional pressure on this window compared to the last one, as we’ve not really had a chance to actually consolidate a certain position/expectation.

Funds were extremely limited going into a Champions League campaign – even with €9m worth of sales, we only had €7m cash to burn, and the budget for wages was simply what we’d saved. Four backup members of the first team departed permanently, as well as loans ending for ‘keeper Mike Maignan, and winger Reiss Nelson.

Very pragmatically, I sought six players to fill the gaps made by these departures– this is very unlike me. The free transfer of Lazio’s ex-Toulouse man, Jean-Daniel Akpa Akpro (AK-AK), was sought for depth, experience, and influence in the middle of the park. €825k went on Ecuadorian centre back, Jackson Porozo, as he is a cheaper, and better, version of the €2m departed man, Wilker Angel.

We replaced our loanees with…more loanees. In sticks is Barca youngster, Arnau Tenas (a lesser version of Maignan, but cheaper, and could potentially hang around longer), and on the wings is Scouse sensation, Curtis Jones. After his excellent stint last season, Moise Keane returns for a second spell, on similar terms. Additionally, I brought in Troy Parrott on loan. Additionally, I brought in Troy Parrott on loan. I actually requested our final incoming transfer through the board, as we were lacking €5m to pull it off – Spanish left wingback wonderkid, Guille Alonso, joins from Cadiz for nearly €12m.

Overall, I’m about as satisfied as I can be with our business. Goal posts are shifting at an alarming rate, and I’ve not really had much opportunity to even start building for the future, as we’re already a few seasons ahead of where I thought we’d be. With funds so tight after an excellent season, the best I could do really was to try to replicate the previous season’s type of transfers, but to try and increase the quality by a notch. I think we’ve done that, even with the loans, and going forwards we can try to secure some more permanent, prime, rib roast talent, now that we’re bringing in European money. Over to F to show that my transfers are actually naff.

FEO:

I was mainly left stunned at how stingy our board were. I wasn’t expecting Ridsdale sized profligacy, but giving us less than we even made? Bastards. AdmitTedly, they came through eventually with the wonderkid left back, so I can’t whinge too much. I think for the first time, a TedRedTransferWindow hasn’t got me thinking that we’re significantly improved. I’m not pointing a finger, sometimes the right players aren’t available for the right price, and our overachievement coupled with our tight board has tied Ted’s hands somewhat.

Still, I do think we’re better off in terms of depth, and that could be essential in a season where we face more fixtures than we have at any point so far. It’s not just about the incoming transfers either, with Mohamed Dieng developing nicely, arguably ready for a berth in the first eleven, and Anthony Rouault returning from a successful loan spell in Portugal to vie for a first team spot. Also, I don’t think we’re weaker either. Apart from maybe in goal, and even there, Tenas looks a good player, with potential to improve, even if he’s not a patch on Maignan (yet?).

I’ve picked out Curtis Jones as my favourite of Ted’s deals:

I think Ted sees him as a replacement for Nelson on the right wing, but I think I’ll be trying him as an AMC at first, and slotting Quina in on the right. The fact is though, Jones easily looks good enough to play in any of the six most forward positions.

Finally, we have a little bit of dressing room strife. Two key players from last year, Fábio Cardoso and Domingos Quina, are not happy about Ted denying them a pay rise. I’m entirely behind Tedderz on these decisions. The fact is, there’s no room in the budget, and they’ve both got two years left on their deals, so it’s hard cheese. It remains to be seen whether this will impact on team and/or individual performances…

Ligue 1:

We rather stumbled out of the starting blocks:

The Monaco game was close, but we wasted the better chances, and the match in Strasbourg was just dire.

I don’t know what to say about the PSG shootout. They’re too good, and it’s a miracle we were that close at the end. They added Haaland as expected in the summer. Their front line is so good, Harry Kane is now playing in central midfield for them.

From this point on, with Champions League football occupying our midweek, I heavily rotated. Like, a minimum of nine players rested. Only in the Auxerre game below did we play the first team. I don’t know if this was the best plan, but the World Cup was approaching, and it’s a weird old season, with games crammed in to shorter periods (just wait ’til Ted sees January…). So naturally our results cratered were immaculate:

We didn’t deserve any points against Lille, but otherwise played well, sometimes very well, and we’re even scoring from set pieces…

Definite props to Ted for our strength in depth this year.

After finishing second last year, the board naturally want a mid-table finish. I say balls to that. We’re chasing CL qualification again. Over the course of a season and a bit, only PSG, Marseille, Monaco and Nantes have consistently worried me, and only PSG have looked to be way ahead of us.

After the World Cup, there was also a 4-0 win over semi-pro opponents in the cup, but there was no way of screenshotting that that wasn’t horrible.

Champions League:

New to modern European competition, Toulouse were always liable to face a tough group. We were inevitably seeded in the fourth pot, and were placed in the group of death, with Juventus, Chelsea, and Bayer Leverkusen.

But on the plus side, no Liverpool. It was always my intention to create a different tactic for the CL, and this group sort of reinforced my reasoning. Our record against the rest of the Ligue 1 top five last season was (understandably) poor, W1 D2 L6, featuring two 0-0 draws and a cup exit, though to be fair, no total maulings either.

So where to start? Well, the shape will largely be staying the same, but I think we need a bit more defensive solidity, and to dial back on the team instructions somewhat.

Nothing particularly mind blowing. We’re up against some of the finest players in the world (Ronaldo, Sancho at Chelsea, and André Silva of Leverkusen looks well good), so shoring up the defence was my first priority. We’ll be playing with a bit more caution, and trying to minimise mistakes by keeping the ball and not overly committing with pressing. I’m hopeful our front four has enough guile, pace, and flair to pop up with the odd goal.

A great first half of the group stage. We fought gallantly for an arguably undeserved win against Juventus, before Chelsea swatted us aside. A solitary penalty doesn’t tell the full story of our excellent performance in Germany.

Leverkusen then came to us in France, and we turned them over easily. This time a result we deserved versus Juve, before Chelsea once again crushed us like an insect, after taunting us with a half time lead.

So what became of us?

Ten points is a great haul, more than double what I had hoped for. There’s a little disappointment as we were actually top going in to the final match with Chelsea, but we didn’t get near them either time. How Juventus won the group after being unable to beat us, I don’t know. I wasn’t very impressed with them, and Leverkusen turned out to be tripe.

Arguably, finishing third is for the best. Hopefully we can get through a knockout tie or two in the Europa League, and swell our coffers a little more.

With rotation in full effect, there are a wide range of names on the faux stats list so far:

Most goals: Parrott (6), Kean (5), Koulouris (5)

Most key contributions: Bacanin, Dieng, Kean (all 3)

Most assists: Bacanin (4), Dieng, Jones, Sarmiento, Sylla, Ugarte (all 3)

Most secondary assists: Jones (4), Van den Boomen (3), Akpa Akpro (2)

Corners:

Uh-oh, here we go again, FEO banging on about setty p’s…I’ll keep it brief.

In season one, we scored from one corner. In season two, we scored from two corners. I can feel the eyes of mathematicians upon me. That’s 82 competitive games, 3 goals.

Time to change something up. New routine? No. New set piece taker? No. I’ve made one change. The man who has been the target for the vast majority of our corners so far, has been reassigned. Sure Sidibé is big, great in the air, great off the ball and arguably the best target I’ve ever had for a corner routine…but he doesn’t score. He is now assigned to stay back with the full backs, and we’re aiming for our inferior centre backs instead.

It’s early days, and a small sample size, but we’ve played 18 competitive games this season, and have scored from four corners. Gabrielsen has three of them, and he had never previously scored. Draw your own conclusions.

The Curious Case of Melvin Camara:

With the frequency of fixtures likely to cause fitness issues, and dressing room disquiet messing with certain individuals’ form (cough…Quina…cough), we’ve needed support from unexpected figures so far. Ted actually brought in a couple more players back in mid-June, both on permanent deals from lower league French clubs. The one to make an impact was a €425k pick up from Troyes, Melvin Camara:

As well as hitching my wagon to #FuckStats, and my very recent allusion to #FuckHeight, I have been known to occasionally #FuckAttributes too. Don’t get me wrong, at 16 years old, he’s a promising prospect, but on paper, he’s not ready for the first team. Turns out, paper is stupid. Here’s a clickable image for a Quina/Camara comparison.

It’s early September, it’s four days before our debut in the Champions League against Juventus, 66 minutes into a game at Angers in which we’re 1-0 up, but not being very convincing. Attacking midfielder Brahima Outtara takes a knock. Who’s on the bench? Sidibé? It’s too early to shut up shop. Quina? Playing dreadfully so far this season. Parrott? I want him fresh for Juve. Sod it, send the kid on.

This is where the eye test comes in (thanks for waiting). He looked the part straight away, heavily involved in his 24 minute cameo. He almost done a goal:

Before standing the ball up for Koulouris to get his second, putting the game to bed:

Whilst the first gif is the one that made me sit up and take notice, whether because of chronology or the fact I’m a sucker for a woodwork strike, it’s the second that’s more important, especially in that it hasn’t been a one off.

He’s involved in crafting an attack down the right hand side, driving towards goal, and providing an assist. All things that I haven’t seen out of Quina this season. Mainly what I’ve noticed from him is woefully misplaced passes.

In the following games, he also showed the capacity to get on the end of moves, and became Toulouse’s youngest ever goalscorer in the process.

As the new year dawns, Camara has accumulated 654 minutes of first team action, and has 3 goals, 3 key contributions, 2 assists and a secondary assist to his name and has looked at home on the right flank.

Quina meanwhile has played for 920 minutes, in which he’s managed a solitary assist. Which was a corner.

These numbers should be couched somewhat by the fact that Camara wasn’t registered for the Champions League, and as such, on average, he has played against “easier” opponents than Quina. Would I have tried him in the CL if I could have though? Absolutely yes.

It’s the Adriano Mari principle, and perhaps it needs reiterating. Attributes and stats for other teams (Camara had done sweet FA for Toulouse 2) don’t tell you everything. Sometimes (always?) you need to clap eyes on a player in action to make an informed decision, and hopefully this will serve as a reminder for me to give the more peripheral figures in the squad a chance.

Other News:

The Europa League has presented us with a tricky away tie (one leg due to WC22) at Samo’s Vitória:

After consultation with Teddy Cool, we’ve decided to crank both our junior coaching and youth recruitment up a notch. The board have decided to offer Ted some more money to spend in January:

Holland won the World Cup, we’ve got a new contract to take us to 2026, but the less said about this…

…the better. Thanks for reading, stay safe x