The best stories are the ones that resurface from the dark. Four years had past since anyone had heard from Chepiga. Like old graffiti scribbled on a public toilet door, the name Chepiga, once so revered, had faded into obscurity.

We previously left him on the Russian side of the Bering Straight as he stared towards the safety of Alaska in the United States.

A hastily arranged bogus testimonial away in the depths of Siberia was enough to get Chepiga just two days hike from the coast, from there an American registered Cessna would collect him at dawn on the third day. Flying under the radar, the Russians would not detect their transgression.

The hike was cold, much colder than the last time Chepiga was here fifteen years ago, or so it seemed to his aging body. This was a different cold, it was ubiquitous, people talked about getting a chill to the bone, Chepiga was sure he could feel his marrow freezing with every shuffling step he took.

He had always felt looking across the Bering Strait was like looking into the future. This was now more true than ever. As his plane approached, a strange feeling welled up inside him, it was nerves, as soon as he crossed the 'Ice Curtain' there could be no return.

The Escape

The Cessna skidded to a halt on its skis about 20 metres away. The smell of aviation fuel was as intoxicating as it was sickening. As Chepiga approached the small metal steps, the side door swung open and out stepped an impressively dressed young woman who was unknown to Chepiga.

“I am Natasha, there has been a change in plan, we are going by speedboat, move!”

Her confidence was infectious but Chepiga remained uneasy. Changes in plans are never good, especially ones he hasn’t been informed about. What’s more, he felt a strange familiarity between them, he was certain they had met before. As they made their way down the pebble filled beach the Cessna took off over head. Natasha pulled out a small white device from her over sized back pack and as easily as you would light a cigarette she flicked a switch. BOOM! The Cessna, now over the sea, catastrophically exploded.

“Nobody tracks a dead man Ruslan. My friends in the United States are happy to offer you solace.” Chepiga knew this offer of friendship would not come free.

“My friends want you to use your particular set of skills, the skills you have acquired over your very long career, to bring the chaos in Portland to an end.”

What is going on in Portland?

Shortly after the murder of George Floyd in Minneapolis, by serving police officer Derek Chauvin, protests were held across the world, some of which continue to this day.

Whilst I followed the news of these protests across the world, I became aware of large scale civil unrest in Portland. In fact citizens had declared parts of the city as no go areas for local law enforcement, something I thought only happened here in Northern Ireland. This, rather predictably, led to clashes with Police, and ultimately the Army, as President Trump struggled to bring law and order back to the streets.

• Portland protests: Trump announces crack down

• Hundreds clash in Portland violence (Aug 2021)

The Mission

Natasha had a cover job lined up for Chepiga, using his experience as a football manager, she had convinced Merritt Paulson, majority owner of Peregrine Sports LLC, who own the Portland Timbers, to hire Chepiga as Head Coach.

Your mission is twofold, and should you be successful, the Pentagon have assured me that you will be given US citizenship, be provided with a new identity, and a new home with a generous pension to live out your few remaining years.

First as you are only too well aware, successful sporting achievements, reduce crime. So you must bring on field glory to the local Portland Timbers. This will start to get the young men off the streets. Secondly you will infiltrate local gangs and work to destroy their structures from within, something that should come easily to you Chepiga. The deadline for the mission to be complete is two years, I’m afraid after that I do not know what they will do with you.

Chepiga could feel a warm excitement grow in his waters. Nothing this girl had said sounded difficult. Portland recently won the MLS is back tournament and infiltrating an intellectually challenged American gang would be child’s play.

“One other thing you should know, Ángel Bastardo has been released from prison and will be managing Inter Miami. This was made possible through a deal with Hugo Ojeda, someone I think you know. I should also make you aware we have intelligence that suggests two players, namely the Chará brothers, are acting as agents-provocateurs working for Ojeda within the wider Portland area.”

Suddenly the real mission became clear, Natasha expected Ruslan to neutralise the Chará brothers influence in Portland. Quite how to do this covertly would require some thought.

Midfielder Diego Chara, 35 has been with the Timbers almost from the start. He signed as the team’s first designated player (DP) in April 2011, the year Portland joined Major League Soccer as an expansion team. Yimmi Chara, a 30-year-old winger, signed with the team in January 2020. The brothers, who hail from Cali, Colombia, further adding to Natsha’s suspicions, come from a football family: dad Jesus and older brother Felipe, 39, also played professionally.

Why Portland Timbers?

I thought I write a little bit about why I chose the Portland Timbers here rather than another click-bait title later on like some bloggers. There are three main reasons I have decided to go with this save.

1) The chance to play with friends online again.

I first started chatting to Tony (aka FMGrasshopper) around 2016 I think. I had been taken in by his saves since the very beginning of his blog in Switzerland. We chat about ideas for saves and silly narratives all the time and eventually I started to blog my own saves during FM19. In March 2018 I was in Essex and we met up, I was looking forward to having a few beers and talking about FM but Tony ordered me Coconut flavoured beer and took me to a bar showing Ireland playing Rugby during which I was asked what part of Belfast I was from by a fellow Northern Irishman (this is a tricky question for anyone from Belfast as your location will determine what “side” you are on.) I managed to adequately dodge the question and we left. At the end of the night Tony was the perfect gentleman as he bundled me in a Taxi, leaving me to pick up the £40 fare.

About 18 months ago Tony first floated the idea of a network save in MLS. I have always enjoyed the online challenge of taking on a human player but it is something I have missed since Football Manager Live stopped (the best online game ever, right Ed). So all this has been in the making for well over a year, rather sadly we even made sure our character’s narratives would line up properly so they were both in the US at the same time.

I enjoy talking to Tony even if it is all nonsense about fake FM managers, and after recent events at home, it has been a very welcome distraction and I have to say I have looked forward to this more and more as the time has approached. We initially just wanted to play a normal network save and call each other up but as we near release the thoughts of streaming came more to the fore. Important to note, we are not aiming to be top streamers, and won’t be chasing the hitz and bitz, it just serves as a good medium to play the game in the way we want to. If nobody watches I doubt we will care.

The plan, therefore, is to meet up over a call 2-3 times a week whilst we get to grips with MLS league systems. Neither of us play that fast at the best of times and I would hazard a guess that managing in unfamiliar territory will slow us even more. For that reason we are only aiming to complete two/three seasons before we break away from one another and take our various saves‘offline’. This should be interesting as our game Universes continue to diverge from each other.

The streams will be on FMGrasshopper’s twitch channel with final details to be announced once we know what they are. The save will kick off a few weeks after FM22's release so feel free to call in, if you like. twitch.tv/fm_grasshopper.

2) MLS Rules - ok

Every year I set myself some sort of limitations or rules to make the save that bit more challenging. I have found, however, that these can make things unrealistic or they curtail my own enjoyment of the game. To alleviate this, why not challenge myself in a more conventional manner, by playing FM in a league that has a myriad of rules that are so alien to me they seem illogical (even if they are actually perfectly logical).

I think doing this as part of a human-human network save will make it even better as we both try and get our heads around some of the rules, I expect mistakes to be made but that is life.

“If you don’t make mistakes you are doing it wrong.” Richard Feynman

As there are so many idiosyncrasies with MLS I intend to write a number of short guides on each aspect of the league. These will be targeted and bite-sized so the reader can call up an article on any particular element they want guidance on, rather than trawling through one huge MLS guide. Keep an eye out for them on coffeehousefm.

3) Timber Joey and the Victory Log

Over the last 18 months or so I have taken a bit more of an active interest in MLS games. The standard is better than I thought and the different competitions available retain the interest throughout the season. One evening I was watching the Portland Timbers play and they scored a lovely goal through their talisman, Diego Valeri. All of a sudden I could hear what sounded like a motorbike engine blasting out around the stadium. It took me a while to realise that it was in fact a chainsaw, and what was actually happening was this fella, Timber Joey, was sawing a slab off a log at the base of one of the stands. A little digging via Google told me that this is a tradition of Portland home games. Every time the side score a slab is taken from the victory log and given to the goalscorer at the end of the game.

At this point I was going to write a bit about why Portland do this along with a bit of history about the club. However, I came across this short five minute video that explains it better than I ever could. Give it a watch, I enjoyed it.

”May your home be strong of beam,
Firm of wall and rafter,
Built with Timbers from a dream,
Girded well with laughter.
May your home have a winding stair
With a lovers landing,
Windows to let in fresh air
With the light of understanding.
May your home have a roof of faith
For every change of weather
And love upon your hearth
To warm your years forever.
Go Timbers.”

So there you have it, another year of Football Manager is upon us. You can catch me over on twitter at @FMEadster and I also have my own channel over on FM slack for more real time updates.

Over and out

FMEadster!